In the first post, we saw how our current efforts to serve can be harmful and leave people burnt out and left out. This is because our efforts to serve can center around someone with help to give and someone with needs to be met. But the reality is, we are all in need. In this lesson, we’ll see how through the Gospel we are all on equal footing as recipients of God’s mercy. When we receive God’s mercy well, we’re able to serve well.
Read the Parable of the Good Samaritan found in Luke 10 and answer the following questions:
- In telling the parable, who is Jesus speaking to? Who would they relate to in the parable?
- We often read the parable as a response to the question “Who is my neighbor?” but the original question the expert in the law asks is “How do I inherit eternal life?”. Does that change how you read the parable?
- Today, how would you answer the question, who is my neighbor?
- What is the primary lesson you see in this parable about serving others?
Watch the video below to hear Shawn Welcome dive into the characters of the story and another lesson we can learn from it.
The Dignified Interdependent Relationship
In Serving with Dignity, we invite everyone to move from a place of hurt and isolation to love and humility through healthy relationships. This happens as we give and receive the resources that God freely gives to us all in some measure as gifts- mercy, dignity, assets, presence, grace, hope, and love.
However, many times, these God-given relationships are places of hurt and shame when we don’t approach them in a healthy way. When we attempt to only give or only receive we create toxic environments.
We see this in the context of serving when we sacrifice relationship for the sake of efficiency. When this happens, we create relationships marked by co-dependency and self-sufficiency.
Both of these approaches are unhealthy because they do not recognize the full truth of our reality. We turn away from our need to receive from God and others and only want to give to others (seen in co-dependency or self-sufficiency). This leads to burn out, apathy, and condescension. Or, circumstances have led us to believe we have nothing to give. We believe the way to survive is by only receiving from others and have experience shame and rejection (seen in co-dependency).
Both of these approaches leave us half-dead because they do not see the truth of our reality. But, even worse, these relationships are unhealthy because of what they say about God. In both approaches, we turn to ourselves, or others, instead of God for what only he can provide. In self-sufficiency, we try to be God for ourselves. In co-dependency, we ask others to be God for us or try to be God for others.
But, there is a better way forward. We refer to these relationships as dignified interdependent relationships. These are relationships that are dignified (everyone’s value is respected), interdependent (there is giving and receiving), and the godly intent for that relational context is pursued (we live in dependence on him).
While this term doesn’t appear in scripture, it is rooted in scripture and many passages point to a similar relationship. We see such references as:
-
In Philippians, Paul uses “partnership in the gospel” over and over, which is a relationship that gives and receives (partnership) for the purpose of advancing the gospel of Christ.
-
Ephesians 5:21 says, “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (giving and receiving through mutual submission for the godly purpose of revering Jesus).
-
Romans 14:19 teaches us to do whatever builds one another up (giving and receiving) to pursue peace (a godly purpose).
So, how do we do this? We show this move from unhealthy relationships to dignified interdependent relationships through this target.
We start with humility. What gets us on target is the humility to receive these resources from God and others.
The next is reciprocity. Once we receive these gifts from God, we must also graciously give these resources to others while remaining open to receive. We begin to share without keeping score and the seeds of relationship are planted.
This ends in dignified interdependence. It is relationship in which there are three actors: ourselves, others, and God. And there are three activities: giving, receiving, and dependence on God (or Godly purpose). This happens as we give and receive the resources that God freely gives to us all in some measure as gifts- mercy, dignity, assets, presence, grace, hope, and love. These are the seven gifts that are covered in Serving with Dignity.
Reflection Questions:
- Does this lesson change how you read the Parable of the Good Samaritan? If so, how?
- Do you struggle more to give or receive in relationships? Why do you think this is?
- Think of a healthy relationship you have or have seen. How do you see dignified interdependence in this relationship (giving, receiving, and a godly purpose)?
Next Step | Ask Someone for Help
This week, ask someone to help you with something. It can be big or small, but should be a real need. Ask someone for a recipe, ask your neighbor to borrow a yard tool, or ask for help at work. Afterwards, reflect on what the experience was like for you.
- What emotions did you feel during this step?
- Who did you ask? Was it difficult to receive help from this person?
- How did the person respond?
- What is one skill, passion, or talent that this person used to help you?
Pray that God will help you build healthy relationships in serving and with others in your everyday life. Pray to be open to seeing ways you’ve been hurt, and may have caused hurt to others, that need to be healed.